My first week of teaching elementary school is over, and I haven't yet administered any beatings. Yay for me.

In all seriousness, I am totally enjoying the elementary music gig. The kids are great, the faculty and staff are wonderful, and (although I'll sound like the lord of the egomaniacs for saying this) I'm really, really good at it. Good beyond my wildest expectations. And as I get more comfortable with the environment I'm only going to get better. Scary, yet extremely cool.

Leave it to Miami-Dade County Public Schools to find a way to screw me over, though. I just found out the other day that starting next week I'll only be teaching only three days a week at this school, and will be teaching at a different elementary school the other two days. This is exactly the type of crap that I was hoping to avoid when I was considering resigning from the school board a few weeks ago. Now that the school year has started, I kind of feel trapped into the job(s). Plus, I'm completely annoyed that the county didn't notify anyone about this until the opening week was in full swing. This is not only going to disrupt my life, but the entire master schedules at two schools will need to be totally reworked which is going to cause no small amount of chaos for the next week or two. I've occasionally found the school district to be inconsiderate and incompetent, but this crack-headed scenario takes the freaking taco.

I was listening to NPR yesterday. They were broadcasting a speech by Tony Blair, who is under fire for misleading Britain regarding Iraq's weapons of mass destruction.

No insightful political analysis here, just an observation: Doesn't Blair sound like Terrence and/or Phillip? In the middle of his speech I was half expecting Blair to call Lord Hutton an "ass-rammer" and start singing "Unclefucker."

Sorry, Cali... Florida's back in the hot seat on this blog.

As a response to an amendment that mandates small class sizes, our brilliant governer and legislature passed a law that allows high school graduation in three years (to alleviate overcrowding). The state Department of Education has a "fact sheet" includind a comparison of 3- and 4-year graduation options on their website (warning: PDF link). Here are some excerpts from a great editorial in the Orlando Sentinel (the full editorial can probably be found here for a little while):

----------

Our position: The new law that allows graduation in three years is nonsensical.

Florida lawmakers are giving teens a free lesson in consumer awareness by offering them a deal that looks too good to be true.

A new law lets students graduate from high school in three years rather than four- with only 18 credits instead of 24. Imagine the elation of bored-with-school teens, especially when they find out that those helpful little legislators also reduced the number of credits required for admission to Florida universities to 18.

Wasn't that nice of them?

Think again. This deal deserves as much skepticism as a "Lose Weight While Sleeping" ad.

Lawmakers didn't think much about teens' futures in higher education or the work force when they passed this cynical piece of legislation. It looks like one more trick to meet the constitution's new class-size requirements...

What smart college-bound student thinks a low-calorie education will do a good job preparing him for the demands of higher education? Out-of-state colleges aren't looking for 18-credit graduates, and Florida's more competitive state universities want students who have taken the most rigorous courses, including four years of higher level math. Fast-track students also miss out on opportunities to take additional advanced placement courses that could save them money and time in college.

On the flip side, what student headed for the work force wants to take two years of a foreign language? That's a requirement for both three-year options but not for four-year degrees. The "career" track also requires no specific career or technical classes.

Maybe lawmakers hoped to make up for in marketing what their idea lacked in quality. They didn't just make the option available: they required school districts to send out blanket letters to secondary-school students and their parents pitching the three-year plan as a graduation option....

----------

No joke... the lack of electives is going to kill secondary-level arts and vocational education programs in Florida in just a few years. And interestingly enough it's not going to help students with college, since only community and state schools will take students that graduate under this option (and only because they're mandated to do so by the state). Forget about Harvard, or even Miami... these students will be anathema to private universities.

If Florida residents can't get their transcendently incompetent lawmakers to repeal this nonsense, then it may be one of the final nails in the coffin for public education in this state. It's like the Republicans are deliberately trying to break the whole system. And I don't feel that this last statement is much of an exaggeration, but that's another long post for another time.

The greatest telemarketing call ever

I had just arrived home following orientation at Miami Dade. Julie and I were sitting on the bed talking, and the phone rings. Julie answers it... and a smile erupts across her face.

Eyes wide, she says "Yes, he's right here," and thrusts the phone at me.

"Hello?"

A woman's voice. "Is this Christopher R.?"

"Yes."

"I'm calling from the National Rifle Association..."

I grin. "Um, OK..." I have to make a quick decision; string her along, or make this short and brutal? If I had been less tired I would have gone for the former, but as I just started another school year today...

"Yes. Right now, there is no better time to join the NRA because..."

I cut her off. "Hold on for a second. I'm a pacifist who fucking hates guns. Goodbye." My phone slams down on the hook, and for a few seconds all is right in the world.

I have a couple of posts I want to make, and both of them will be fairly long. I'll hopefully get back to blogging over Labor Day weekend... but for now, I have to get up early to teach little kids tomorrow. Then in the evening I have to undergo adjunct instructor orientation at M-DCC (somehow I've avoided it every year without even trying, but the administrator over Performing Arts called me about it last week so I really should go), which will make for a long day. So I'm off to bed.

The first time I saw Grand Buffet, they were opening for Wesley Willis in 2002. That was an amazing show. (If you don't know much about WW, click on that link)

So it's especially saddening to learn that Thursday (one day after I saw Lord Grunge and Grape-A-Don again in West Palm), Wesley died of leukemia.

It seems that a lot of people listened to Wesley Willis for the "freak-show" factor; a 300 lb. schizophrenic with a Casio, whose rapping was a stream-of-consciousness event liberally festooned with commercial slogans and foul epithets. But I think the reason I responded to Wesley's work (I can call you Wesley, right? Skrait) was its authenticity and sincerity. There is something beautiful about a guy that just wants to rock and doesn't give a fuck. Authenticity and sincerity are in such rare supply in this culture that Wesley's unique vision will be missed.

Jello Biafra (Alternative Tentacles Records, ex-Dead Kennedys frontman) beautifully eulogizes his friend here (a backup at punknews.org has Jello's tribute and some additional info on his death, so go there if the alternativetentacles link is busy).

Almost a week since I've updated. We need to get this shizzle on a schedule, yo.

I started my new job today as an elementary school music teacher at (not gonna include the real name, because I'm now being Googled. So let's call it...) "Main Street" Elementary School. It'll be palatable. The other music teacher is rad. There's no way it can be more hectic than teaching high school music.

I've finished my short list of schools at which I'll be applying for grad work. Miami, U. of South Florida, UF in G-Ville, either USC or UCLA (gotta pick one), and the Eastman Conservatory in NY. Indiana may end up on there if I decide to not apply at schools in LA. San Diego State is not an option yet (but may become one if I apply and can get an audition date within a day or two of whichever LA school I decide upon).

All the audition-related traveling this spring is going to take money, and I'm not sure how I'll work it out with my myriad jobs. I suppose I'll blow up that bridge when I come to it.

I'm kicking around the idea of applying for "National Board Certification" as a teacher. It's a lot of writing and documentation... but not only does it look really good on a resume, you also get an award of several thousand dollars (from the federal and state governments) for completing the process. That money will come in handy in grad school, so I'm seriously considering it.

I drove up to West Palm Beach last night to see Grand Buffet. As exhausted as I am now, it was worth it (got home at 1 AM, and was up at 7). If they come to a town near you, SEE THEM! Word.

Rob Lowe is joining the Schwarzenegger gubernatorial campaign. Three observations:

1. Apparently Arnold's way of adding gravitas to his campaign is by adding a campaign staffer who, unlike himself, has at least played someone involved in politics.

2. If I recall correctly, Rob Lowe is a decent actor. But it doesn't matter. The man could win an Academy Award or cure cancer, and every other article about him will still mention the whole "pr0n-video-with-underage-girls" thing. This Google search elicited 12,000 hits.

3. I was gonna call the above phenomenon "Pee Wee Herman" syndrome... but then it came to my attention that Paul "Pee Wee" Reubens (who was charged with possessing illegal pr0n last fall) may own a copy of the "Rob Lowe video," and that said video is part of the evidence against Pee Wee. Wow. Find the link here, and be prepared to scroll halfway down the page.

I now present:

The Top 10 Sexually Tilted Or Otherwise Sadly Appropriate Rob Lowe Movie Titles props to imdb

10. Thursday's Child
9. Outrage
8. Schoolboy Father
7. About Last Night...
6. Stories from My Childhood
5. Contact
4. Fox Hunt
3. View From The Top
2. Bad Influence
1. Illegally Yours

Tone Milazzo has decided to say "screw you" to programming, and is trying a new career as a writer of comic books. Find his site here.

I have a job now, at a great elementary school, but I'm not certain I want to teach anymore. More later.

Gubernatorial nonsense

In what will no doubt prove to be a critical blow to an already-teetering Western Civilization, it's come out that Gallagher (yes, that Gallagher... the watermelon-smashing pseudo-comedian) is running for governor of CA.

I've hated Gallagher and his anti-intellectual, lowest-common-denominator schtick for a long time... but if I didn't already despise him, I would after reading his campaign slogans (yes, these are from his official site). You'd think that a fucking professional comedian would have a better way with words than this.

Speaking of slogans, I've got once for Citizen Coleman: "Gary Coleman for Governor. Because the world don't move to the beat of just one drum." (OK, so it's not that great. I'm still a better sloganeer then goddamn Gallagher).

All things considered, if I still lived in Cali I'd vote to keep Davis in office, as I think it's bullshit that Republicans are calling a "do-over" election when Davis was re-elected less than a year ago. If I were to vote for one of the alternate candidates it would most likely be Arianna Huffington. Seriously.

----------
Employment/unemploment nonsense

The school I interviewed at in July is not offering chorus as an elective next year for budgetary reasons.

I've been notified of seven or so job listings in the past two days for music positions with Miami-Dade schools. Each of them was filled by the time I called.

So, I'm giving it until Thursday. If I don't have a job by then (or a really promising interview scheduled for that morning), then I will be placing my teaching career on hiatus for a while. I'm debating whether it would be better to flat-out resign or just go on personal leave, but those details will get worked out later this week if it comes to that.

California's recall election is now officially a farce. With dozens of candidates (.pdf link) expected to run, all I can say is... I feel so much better about living in the electorally-challenged state of Florida.


We all know that Detective John Kimble is running for the governor's post. When I mentioned this to Julie she said, "Well, when it comes to the arts it wouldn't be so bad to have an actor as governor." She then paused and added, "Actually, that didn't work out so well with Reagan, did it?"

If I were living in Cali... let's just say "Why vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger when you can vote for Arnold Jackson?" Find Mr. Coleman's platform here.

Publisher Larry Flynt (warning: link probably not safe for work) is also running. Tone Milazzo is planning on voting for him. That makes complete sense, taking into account Tone's particular issues.

Everybody go sign up for tribe.net. Now. It rocks the hizzouse (or will rock the house, once it's out of beta).

I have a nosebleed right now. Most exciting thing to happen in weeks.

The job hunt is starting to look grim. I've been searching for another choral position in Miami-Dade county ever since my job at HMLHS was cut in May... and I've had exactly one interview, and I won't hear back from them until right before school opens. I have been reassigned, but it's to a middle school. To teach orchestra. Bah.

So, I need to make a decision. Do I teach orchestra next year, knowing that I'll teach it badly, or quit teaching and freelance for a while? I'd rather freelance- I can take on more voice students at the community college, continue directing the men's chorus, and teach out of my home... but I'd have to pay a shitload of money to retain my benefits through COBRA. Julie doesn't have health benefits through her job yet, and for a host of reasons it would be a bad idea for her to be without insurance for any length of time.

A friend who is well-connected in the Fort Lauderdale music scene is trying to hook me up with some additional work. One potential gig is a church choir position, and the other is a music director position with one of the cruiselines. If I can land those and continue with the men's chorus, I'll be making decent money. If not, then I'm screwed.

Advice from my Cali peeps would be appreciated.